Well what do I say… Sometimes I know what I need to do to eat right and to be healthy; sometimes I think maybe I don’t.  I remember when I was growing up that I would go stay with my Mamaw and Papaw all the time where food consisted of fried pork tenderloin sandwiches, french fries, Peanut Butter and Bologna sandwiches (yes I will give you a moment to get over that one)…….



candy bars, soft drinks and pretty much anything I wanted.  I seriously doubt I ate very many vegetables at my Mamaws unless you count the tomatoes that she put in the macaroni and ketchup.  I live in Southern Indiana… so sometimes we eat southern.

My favorite meal that my mom would make is still today:  Fried Cube Steak and gravy, mashed potatoes, peas, and dinner rolls.  Not sure that will ever not be my favorite food.  (At least I ate peas.)  I have never been a huge salad person and then I found out a few years ago I was allergic to lettuce.  Well that’s all it took for me to say okay I won’t eat it.

Now that I am a mother of 3 I do try to get my kids to eat healthy and eat at least 5 fruits and vegetables a day if not more.  My daughter who is 2 we have no problem getting her to eat.  My 3 year old son, OMG… he will not eat vegetables to save his life.  He did take a bite of a carrot here and there.  The other times he is an all fruit kid.  Then there’s the 8 year old.  It took him some time to not be like the 3 year old anymore but he got there.

So today for instance I haven’t exactly ate healthy.  I have kept track of my calories and food using My Fitness Pal.  SO I know I am way over… (which reminds me I need to add my dinner).  Have I worked out today?  WELL NO.  DO I want to… yes but if I wanted to say bad why I am I still sitting here typing instead of up working my butt off.  I am in the worst shape of my life.  I have mentioned before I am in worse shape now than before I lost the 115lbs.

So my goal for next week is 5 fruits and veggies every day and to stay under 1600 calories 5 out of 7 days.

I still can’t help but in the mindset of what I did learn in HMR and think I can go back on this diet… (Which I know I can.)  My pocket however says no… too much money.  The older the kids get the more they eat which means the less money Mommy and Daddy have.  Even eating healthy is so costly.

Why does everyone push to eat healthy but then charge so much more for healthy food or organic food rather than junk food.  Lets see a quarter for a Little Debbie or 1.00 for a pack of carrots.  HMMM…

I am very random in this post but my mind is consumed so I am just pretty much letting it all out.

Did I mention I am so embarrassed with myself I avoid parties, my son’s school and family because the people that once said WTG and so proud of you will be there.  I disappointed them.

Brief moment while I teach my son to spell his name.  He tries so hard.

I guess I don’t like the fact that I have let others down.  I have always been a people person.  I hate that I have let it come this far.  Why am I just talking about it you say and not doing anything about it?  Well if you have ever been in my spot then you know the answer to that.  If not then please please try to understand.  In my opinion eating food as much as I do and the foods I eat are kind of like a disease or alcohol to an alcoholic.  It’s hard to stop.