So October is always a very busy month for us and I know we aren’t the only ones. Today however is very big for me and I am usually sad the whole day.

The weather today is very rainy as well. Plus being sick doesn’t lighten the mood.

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Always at 7pm I light a candle and remember the ones that got away. I am however very blessed by having these two joys that I was able to give birth to.

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I am also very thankful for my bonus son. He brings joy to our lives and sometimes chaos haha. He is 8 what else would I expect.

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These kids mean so much to me however I will always remember all the ones I carried and heard heart beats but were lost. My husband has actually lost 2 more than I have. One a little more tough than the other. His ex was 5 mo pregnant and the baby did not have a brain stem. She had to deliver anyway. She is buried so we visit her every August on the day she was born.

Life is always so precious to me. So for anyone has gone thru anything. Please know you are not alone.

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