A lot of us dislike change.  We cannot accept change when we are so used to a routine.  It drives us crazy on the inside and outside.

Lisa Carpenter asked what scares us.  My response was change scares me.  Seriously it does, I never like changes in a work environment or in life.  So she challenged me to look back at when change was a good thing in my life.  So changes from when I remember that scared me….

  1. My dad’s work was shutdown by President Clinton, so my dad decided to retire instead of staying by whom bought them out.  In turn they bought a gas station and I got my 1st job which I had for four years.  The longest I’ve ever held a job by the way.  That was in 1996.
  2. College…. because of a boyfriend I decided to stay local so I went to the University of Louisville for a year.  Now it was the worst year of my life or so I thought.  In this time in college, I dumped that boyfriend who asked me to marry him at the age of 18.  I found my low self-esteem which in turn made me make some not so great decisions.  I wasted all my parents money by never going to class.  However I met my now husband’s ex-wife.  I will save that story for another time.
  3. Our wedding day.. why did it scare me?  Well marrying Tony itself didn’t but I always have believed in signs.  So the day before we are married he was in so much pain we ended up in the ER where he had a steroid shot then he could actually walk down the isle.  Our wedding day he was able to but we had to drive a bit to get our marriage certificate which fell into the pool.  Then on the way up to our condo we got stuck in the elevator.  My mom said we would laugh about it later but I am still not laughing.
    September 21, 2009 - Our Wedding Day
    September 21, 2009 – Our Wedding Day

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  4. My grandma dying… I love my grandparents and losing my grandma was very hard for me.  She was able to go to our wedding out of my two grandparents left.  I had a white rose for her and a red one.  The red one for herself and the white one in memory for my grandpa.  In turn my parents moved into her patio home and we moved into my parents house.  I miss my grandparents every day and I end up talking to them in my head a lot.  I even have a collage of my grandpa near my bed.
  5. The day Izzy was born… she is our youngest but until the very very moment she was born I was scared shitless.  I was so nervous over having two babies 17 months apart and in diapers.  Then the moment I held her in my arms I knew it was going to all be okay.  So far it has been.

    June 6, 2012 - Izzy's Birthday
    June 6, 2012 – Izzy’s Birthday
  6. They day I realized that we had over $100,000 in debt… well other than changing how we do things and starting to pay it off for a better us,  (Estimated 7 years to pay it all off)  I have no other way to see it.  We do have a plan and a budget.  I lost my job in the middle of it and now am going to get to stay home with my children and hopefully homeschool them.  (WAIT… THERE IT IS!!!)

So changes… there always is something good in all of them.  Of course I would have rather had a better way to get my parents house and the house I grew up in than my grandma dying.  That was horrific.  I was so upset the day of her funeral I had to run to the bathroom to throw up.  Death is not easy for me.   I still fear it so.  (Another story for another day.)

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